Without getting into too much, I have a covert narcissist mother and my husbands aunt is passive aggressive and a nasty person as well. These women likely both have their own issues as they can’t seem to explain why they are bad to me but I finally had enough of forgiving and forgetting and mentioned them to our marriage counselor through various sessions.She agreed with me.. these women are toxic and if someone cannot be loving and kind to our entire family then they don’t get access to our kids or continue to get to engage with me and make me miserable.Aunt in law was given a chance to talk and ignored all emails and letters (she got them as we attached tracking) and narc mom Will boundary stomp and do something literally 8 times in a row you’ve asked them not to.. she won’t say sorry so we are not in contact either.I’m mid 30s but finally now learning to stay more composed and hold my ground and expect an apology and changed behavior to move forward and neither of these women like that or will do it.My kids are 2, 5 and 7 and the older two (mainly the oldest) press and ask where they are or why we can’t go visit etc. My oldest really wears me out..My in laws invited crappy aunt over knowing I was coming with my kids and I said nope not going in.. won’t be having dinner.. this lady is nasty and I was ticked my in laws failed to tell me She was there knowing the issues at hand.My son nonstop bugged me about why he couldn’t go inside abuelitos house and presses nonstop..Instead of telling my kids Their grandma is psycho & tried telling their dad their mom needs to be on heavy psych meds (yes she is sick) or that their aunt purposely won’t write my name on anything, hands out gifts in front of me making sure I see she got me nothing, said I “still look pregnant”.. and all the other nasty details.. I finally just said “So and so is not nice to mommy so we aren’t hanging out now. They have to think about it and we have to talk one day maybe but right now we are on a break ok?” And I stress to my kids that everyone has to treat all members of our family kindly.My husband got uptight about this despite him knowing an agreeing his aunt is awful to me.. bc I’m “involving kids.. “ when I was pretty mad my in laws (his parents) put me in the awkward and crap situation to have to explain to my son..I feel like I gave an age appropriate explanation and I’m irked my husband has the audacity to act like we have to keep protecting crappy people and their crap behaviorDid this my entire life for my narc mom while she backstabbed me and made me look crazy but I was raised under that whole idea we don’t talk about family and blood is blood.. and I always covered up awful shit she did but finally got sick of it the last few years seeing she wasn’t a person making mistakes but a real toxic personMy husband quipped “ok well how about I tell them about your mom then?” And I said “I already did! Told them we are on a break from grandma too bc she’s not being nice to mommy..”I’m sick of hiding the shit others do and have debated telling my kids the entire truth as older teens.. I’m tired of looking like the bad guy personally and dealing with two covert narcissists is really hard.. they are very conniving and the type who will absolutely plant poison in your kids head ever so subtly to set you up as the bad guy so for me it’s Important for me to be honest and open with my kids and I felt that was about right for their age. I also feel like.. how about your aunt and my mom Stop being cruel and awful to me? Then there’d be no need for this explanation but I’m put in this spot again and again.. I feel like my husband should be more like “Welp yeah you’re right and you wouldn’t have to explain it if these women were just nice to you..” so it ticks me off that he isn’t.My husband doesn’t agree and it truly angers me. Am I wrong? He said I’m getting kids involved in adult matters and I don’t agree.. what should I do or say? via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2R4XxbE
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