Originally posted this in r/amitheasshole but I realized it was a question really better suited for other parents. Because our state is just one vote away from doing another virtual semester in the fall, I’ve set up private micro-schooling for my kids (8 and 15 years old.)I know this sounds like a crazy elite bourgeoisie thing if it’s the first time you’re hearing the term, but it’s actually just getting together with two or three other families with similar aged kids to pool the cost of a private teacher who works with the kids in a hybrid tutoring/classroom setting. There are three families (5 kids total) in our micro-school.It’s less expensive than private school and they learn the same amount in fewer hours because of the individualized curriculums and extra attention. It’s been great, we may even continue it after regular schools resume.But friend of all of ours has asked if their kids can join our micro-school, because they’re worried about the quality of virtual learning as well, and also need to return to work soon.Here’s the thing—none of our kids like her kids. All our kids currently in the micro-school get along well. It’s not without typical kid disagreements, but they were all either strangers or friends when we started. They all actively already dislike these peoples’ kids.Their kids aren’t bullies like “I’m going to beat you up” bullies, but they’re bullies in the “I’m going to make you feel bad about yourself to boost myself up,” way.I asked my child why he didn’t like them and he said “Every time I’m excited about something [that child] always tries to tell me why I shouldn’t be so excited.” And cited a couple incidents like one time he found out he had gotten an 88 on a test in a subject he really struggles in and was visibly excited, and this other kid came and showed him his 97 grade.The other was my son is really into soccer, but we live in the US where it isn’t as popular, and every time he’d bring it up or get into a conversation where he’d managed to get someone interested, if this kid overheard him he’d go “No one watches that. No one cares about soccer.” And just kind of take the wind out of his sails.The other child is a little older so my kid hasn’t had much direct interaction with her but the other kids in the group say she’s pretty gossipy and standoffish in a way that creates derision in social groups (obviously not the exact words they used but I’m summarizing.)However, it is next to impossible to find people to go in on a private tutor with who have same aged kids, so I would feel just awful leaving our friends stranded without a viable option other than virtual schooling, which would not be as high quality an education, and probably require one of them to quit their jobs.But in such a small setting, having anyone they don’t get along with would definitely be disruptive to the students already there.Part of me wants to say “They’re 8, they’ll learn to live with each other. My friend needs to go back to work and I have to help out.” But the other part of me is saying “I can’t help that your kid doesn’t get along with mind and I’m not sacrificing their education over it. Sorry I couldn’t be of help.”None of us know what to do and since I’m closest to the person asking to join, the decision has been deferred to me.On the one hand, potentially sabotaging the kids’ education. On the other hand, my friends’ livelihood... I’m really torn. Any advice much appreciated! via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/3he1bYE
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