Shared Parenting Pros & Cons?

Hello. I’m in the middle of settlement negotiations with my toddler’s father. As with many, shared parenting is THE topic that is holding us up. He wants it, I do not. So I thought I’d tap into this community to see what some of the pros and cons of shared parenting are. And for those who make it work, what are some practical steps you take to make it work (not just “mutual respect” or anything like that. Like actual practices you incorporate in your shared parenting relationship). Because, ultimately, I want what’s best for my kid, whatever that is.Here are some key facts for why I have pushed for sole custody: -Never married -I have sole custody and have been the primary caretaker and sole provider for the child since birth (there is no child support order and Dad does not pay anything willingly) -Dad has gone months at a time without so much as a text to check on the child (there’s a bunch of “he said/she said” as to why but the fact is that he is out of contact with the child for long periods of time with no attempts made to change that though he says once the court order is in place, that will never happen again) -Dad is married to someone who expects to be a part of all our decisions and who believes that when my child is in her home, she is the decision-maker for all things - even over Dad - because she is the mom of that household (they currently have no other kids though I suspect they are trying) -Dad does not openly claim the child. Extended family and the majority of his friends and co-workers do not even know he has a child. -I highly suspect shared parenting is being sought just to pay less child support once the court order is in placeHere are some key facts for why I’m considering shared parenting: -I believe it’s in the child’s best interest to have both parent’s engaged in the child’s life -I want my child to have a low-conflict environment (I am often accused of being controlling and trying to alienate the child from Dad...my hope is that shared parenting would alleviate that misconception) -I don’t care about child support enough to fight about it in court. I expect Dad to help but I have no intention of maximizing it to the fullest extent. Just whatever is fair.So, yeah. Looking for advice. Because I really don’t want this to go to trial but Dad has made it clear that if I don’t agree to shared parenting, that’s where we’re headed. And if I can’t be convinced that shared parenting is in the child’s best interest, then I’ll see him in court. But if you guys give me something that might change my mind about shared parenting, I’d love to be able to settle out of court with a clean conscience that I’ve done what’s best for the child.Thanks in advance! via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2EYZpgH