Helping my kid with his friend.

I could use some advice on helping my son with one of his difficult friends.My 8yo son has been getting together with four friends he has known for 5 years for a break from homeschool during the day. They run around in a local field and play a complicated imaginary game that builds on itself more and more each day. Two of the kids always come and are very nice kids, respectful and easy to get along with. Another kid comes about half the time and there are also no problems there. One other child comes about 1/4 of the time and for reasons we're working on understanding she simply cannot get along with the other kids. They accuse her of being bossy and insensitive and ignoring them when they talk, she accuses them of not letting her play with them.The child who is having trouble with the other kids has no other contact with children and with the exception of the couple months she's been sporadically coming to play she has seen no other children since school closed last March. Add to that the fact that she is an only child who lives with parents and grandparents and is the center of their adult world. Her mom really wants her to make the most of this time around other kids, but she is not particularly interested in doing so and when she finally goes to the other kids (all of whom she got along with fine before the pandemic) there is always conflict.The girl's mom is obviously getting frustrated and though she's trying to stay objective it's clear from some things she says and how she talks to the other kids that she considers much more of the fault to lie with kids besides her own. Yesterday the kids argued again because of a misunderstanding about the rules of the game. We spoke to the kids and helped them clear it up so they could continue playing, but the mom wouldn't let it drop. She was borderline inappropriate arguing with my son while all the other kids had run off. He stood up for himself well so I didn't intervene, but it was annoying. I felt it would have been more productive had the girl been talking to my son instead of her mom (with us helping them understand each other's perspectives if necessary), but she wouldn't come join the conversation. This is a common scenario. The mom speaks for the girl, the girl runs off and forgets all about it, the other kids have to be lectured by the mom. The mom is obviously feeling sensitive that her daughter feels she is being excluded, but the other kids are offering a different version. They say they are including her, but that she tries to take over the game and boss them around. They say she is mean to them. I've known all these kids since they were toddlers and I think they are all generally nice kids and want to get along with each other, they just don't know how to do it. I also suspect the mom is stunting her daughter's social development by speaking for her all the time and not making her do the hard work of talking things out, but I'm not about to tell someone else how to parent their child. She does encourage the girl to communicate, but then takes over as her daughter quickly loses interest and wanders off.As adults we're all trying to interfere enough to make sure the kids aren't being mean and are trying to communicate with each other before things escalate. Otherwise we have agreed to try and let them work it out with the tools we've given them. Unfortunately things don't seem to be getting better and the kids are getting to the point where they dread it when the other girl comes. I'm trying to look at this as an opportunity for my son to learn how to stick by friends and help them when they are struggling or if nothing else to learn how to deal with/get along with people whose company he doesn't particularly cherish. I just don't know how to make this work. Our only idea so far is to just have them play a different game when she comes whether they want to or not, something like a sport or tag or ? I don't think it would do her any favors as far as helping socialize her, but it might be a good compromise.What do you all think? via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/3sYWtVg