Our family has been going through a bit of a crisis to say the least. Without going into too much detail, it came to my attention that my husband was hiding debt behind my back and using my daughter's college savings to try and pay it off. Caught the latter quickly, but that's not my main question, although I'm fine elaborating if anyone asks, but I'll also have you know that we're both currently in marriage counseling and have been for the past month or so. However, the affect it has had on our family stresswise is why we opted for counseling, and he's been very open to going. He apologized to me and my kids in a meeting openly, and our counselor advised that he apologize that way. However, the effect it has had on my son is rather troubling. He's lost all trust for him and doesn't want him taking him to sports or hangouts with friends, and he's also been distancing himself from him at home. Our counselor advised that we see if each kid needs counseling depending on how they are, but my question regards my son and the way he chose to cope. As Christians, we taught him about drinking and purity over the years, but he recently lied to us about going to a restaurant with a friend and instead went to a friend's home and came back late and buzzed. He walked home with a friend, and we were waiting for him to return in the kitchen because it was much later than he told us. My husband thinks we should punish him, but also has doubts about it and questions if he has any moral grounds to stand on, and while I believe that there should probably be, my parents said to wait until we're both on the same page before deciding anything, and I just wanted to ask the best way to go about it, and especially since my husband believes he's directly responsible for what happened because of what he did that led to his choices and recent behaviorTL;DR: My husband has been hiding credit card debt behind my back, and when he tapped into our daughter's college savings to try and pay some of it down, I found out about it and we've been in counseling for about a month. However, the effect it has had on our family and children is a lot, and our son's been more distant with him in the aftermath, not having him drive him/attend sports or wanting to talk to him at home, and he recently lied to us and got drunk at a friend's house and came back drunk too. My husband believes that he has no moral grounds to stand on to punish him, since he believes that his actions are in response to what he did, and my parents told me to wait until we agreed on a decision before choosing to punish him or notThis happened last night when he came back much later than he originally told us via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/3arRpQL
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