Should my kid’s school alerted us sooner?

This is a throwaway account because, honestly, I have a lot of shame regarding this situation.I’m going to try and make this short and a bit vague. Essentially, my kid has been attending this preschool for nearly 2 years and we have only heard great things regarding his behavior (save one incident when he played I’ll show you mine if you show me yours last year). They told us he was a joy and a great friend to everyone, even the younger kids. This year has been a massive struggle for him at home with a new sibling, but we were reassured multiple times that he was doing amazing at school. He’s doing much better at home, by the way.Then we had a parent-teacher conference and learned my kid is actually really struggling and has been for a month. He’s been disruptive and mean to other children. He has been defiant and unwilling to participate. She even described a physical act of bullying. He also exposed himself again; I think this was what broke the camel’s back and why it was finally brought to our attention. Hearing the details laid out, she was concerned about abuse, which makes complete sense. He’s not abused at home because his contact with others is limited and supervised, but I can absolutely see the concern. Even more reason why I’m so upset this wasn’t brought to our attention sooner. Talking with his teacher, I think I know what brought this on, but we may never know the full story.There’s plenty more to the story, but is this normal for schools? I don’t expect to be alerted every time my kid makes a mistake, but I expected to be alerted of a complete change in behavior. Looking back, there are times he made offhand comments to me that I could have explored more if I knew he was struggling. I literally see his teachers every day for drop off.We’re of course taking him to a therapist. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/3gQsD1U