My Teenager Hates Me

I’m a single mother to a 17 year old son. He’s had a rough childhood. As background info, his father was extremely abusive to us when he was little so I left him. I eventually started with painkillers after fracturing my foot and somewhere down the line graduated to heroin.My son has ADHD and found attending school really difficult and while I was working, his grandmother (who took care of him while I worked) never forced him to go to school and excessive absences led to an ACS case where they removed him and placed him in foster care.Once this happened, I got clean and I did whatever I needed to do to get him back. I went for the all the visitations and eventually he was returned back to me.It’s been about 2 years he’s been back home with me, we’ve also gone to therapy together which he doesn’t like at all. At therapy he just says everything’s fine and shuts down so I don’t force him to open up.We’ve had countless conversations where I’ve apologized for what I’m done and what he’s gone through and I told him that I’m only trying to rebuild and have a better relationship. But I feel like he hates me.Every single day that goes by, he curses at me nonstop, calls me stupid and idiot. Tells me I’m fat and criticizes the fact that I’ve lost a few teeth (mainly from drugs but mostly from not taking care of myself)I’ve tried to tell him how much this hurts me, but he just negates my feelings and yells and screams and throws things. I feel like sometimes he wants to hit me but he stops himself.With back to school approaching and after a year of being full remote with school, I’m afraid he’s not going to want to go back. He’s very anti-social, he likes to stay home all day and play video games and he doesn’t clean up after himself. I do. I’ve tried bringing up school and he tells me to shut up that maybe he will just drop out.I don’t want to see him go down the same road I did. I dropped out of high school and got my GED but it’s not the same and I’ve struggled. He says that he won’t ever let himself turn out like me.How can I fix this situation? I’m honestly so hurt and all I do is cry when I’m alone and even with that when he catches me he makes fun of the fact that I’m crying. I want to let him know that I’m hurt and I want the name calling and cursing to stop. But I’m also afraid of him in a way.Please any advice is appreciated. I don’t know what to do. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/3z1hbqf