
Hi all,I feel the need to write a message here because I am becoming crazy. I am not sure whether I am being irrational or and if or why my gf became so resentful.She is pregnant in the middle of the second trimester and we are starting to discuss how we will manage to raise the baby. She thinks it is not reasonable to work full time and we should be both there for the kid until it is 5 and she thinks it is crual to let it in a caretaker/kita after 1 year old.I am in academia, and it is extremely difficult for me to negotiate a part time position, especially since I am already working long hours and working less will probably prevents me to pursue a tenure track in academia. On the other hand, I am also ready to look for a more family friendly job in industry, but I don't think I could directly hunt for a part time position there and being picky. She does not really believe and give me some examples where the husband stepped back + some feminism rant about how the society push her to stop her carreer.On her side, she is a teacher with a permanent position, and in our country (germany), it means she can negotiate easily how much time she wants to work (when she has a kid). So it is infinitely easier for her, and also more flexible since she could come back to full time when she would wish. She also has a plan to make her own business/project, but she tells me it will be not possible to have time for that when she stays at home for the kid.The main issue is that she is resentful with the perspective to stay at home and me going to work. She has no will to work full time because she wants us to be there for the kid and she is convinced that full time carreers are not compatible with that. In my opinion, she has a deeper problem and feels somehow some jealousy about my job.If you have any suggestions on how to untangle this situation, I would be grateful. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/3GQLCnj
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