I’ve been with my SO for 1.5 years, we’ve known each other for almost half my life on this earth. I’ve always loved him and cared for him, we didn’t acknowledge this for a long time and he moved away for work, he came back we reconnected, everything has been fine up until now.I have 2 children ages 2 (3 in August) and 4 (5 in September).We have disagreements on how to discipline. I don’t agree with yelling the second a child does something wrong, I don’t agree with spanking (He’s never done this but I have voiced my opinion about it and he has not disciplined my children this way.) I feel that it’s important to be calm while disciplining children and if you’re not calm while they make you angry for misbehaving I personally take a “grown up time out” which is just going out for a smoke to calm down then try to talk to them calmly as possible and give a justified punishment.I also want to mention that as a parent I get stressed and sometimes I do yell when I do not feel like it was necessary and apologize for the yelling later while reiterating why I was upset and explaining what they did was wrong. Obviously my 4 year old is disciplined differently from my 2 year old.My SO has no experience with children of any age, only experience which discipline is with how he was brought up. However if I try to mention why yelling is not the best thing and explain why it might damage their mental health in the future and how the things that are said sometimes are not appropriate and the oldest is just being a kid and it’s normal, he just says oh sure because that’s working whatever. And plays it off like the kid should just learn after being yelled at once or twice.It’s hard for me to bring it up now and explain that he’s a kid and he’s learning and it’s something that we have to keep teaching him over and over again until he’s old enough to understand. My SO doesn’t believe this.I know this isn’t an AMITA sub but WIBTA if I told him he needs to adhere to my disciplinary tactics because otherwise despite how much I love him and want to be with him forever I will leave his ass when it comes to my children’s future mental health and I love him with all my heart but I love my children with all my heart and soul?Sorry if this is confusing at all but I tried to put it as best I could without revealing too much information that he may see and be hurt by. I hope there are some compassionate redditors out there who may have some sound advice as I’m really at a loss as to how to bring this up without offending him. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/30fP0Uc
No comments:
Post a Comment