Throwaway account for privacy reasons.I have been raising my niece for the past 7 years as her sole guardian. My brother, her father, was murdered in a drive-by shooting that was likely a case of mistaken identity 7 years ago, just a month before his daughter was born. My niece's mother decided she didn't want to care for her after she gave birth, and instead of letting her go into the foster care system, I took her in when I was 17. We haven't seen her mother since. I haven't told her every detail about her parents and exactly why they aren't here since she's so young, but she is aware that I'm her biological father's brother, not her actual father. She recently has started calling me daddy, which I'm actually personally totally okay with, but I realize as she gets older she may begin to have to deal with some questions from other kids who might be genuinely curious, but that doesn't mean they won't say things in a hurtful way, especially if they eventually find out the truth. I don't want her to face any teasing for this when she gets to middle school where that kind of stuff really starts to pick up.So anyway, I'd just like to see if anyone has some advice on how to navigate this. Like I said, I just want her to feel like she really does have a dad, and if her calling me that helps her, I'm on board. I think right now it helps her feel like a 'normal' kid, but I'm just praying this doesn't eventually turn into something that generates bullying. You know, something like "Why do you call your uncle dad? That's really weird/you're really weird for that." I've told a small handful of her classmates/friends' parents that I'm pretty close with and trust that I'm her uncle, but now I'm questioning if I should have done so at her current age. I would hope parents wouldn't gossip about it, but it's always possible.Another semi-related question: Does anyone have an idea for around what age I should begin talking to her about what happened to her parents? I don't want to overwhelm her at a young age, or with everything at once, but I don't want her to resent me if I wait too long to give her the honest truth. I haven't lied to her, but I've only given her a portion of the truth. I'm still young myself, and my father has never been in my life, and my mom died when I was a teenager. My brother was my father figure for most of my life, and I want to repay him the favor by being his daughter's father figure, but I want to do it the right way. It's all overwhelming at times, and having not had a normal relationship with my own parents, being a 'parent' myself has me second-guessing tough decisions like this. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/347koIp
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