Really wanting kids

Typical millennial post here.Having grown up through all the bullshit in today's world, between losing our home in 08, having zero family support, and needing to figure it out all on my own, global pandemic etc etc.. I feel like I've been lucky enough to get to where I am in life today. I own my own business and do okay for myself financially but definitely not great. We're still dealing with a lot of things that have been holding us back.My fiancée (26F) and I have been talking about kids for years. We both know we want them. I'm really wanting to think long and hard about trying in the next year or so..My biggest concern is I don't want to repeat the same mistakes my parents did. I was homeless as a teenager due to their financial mistakes, drug addiction, etc etc, and I needed to work full time to support my little sister who was several years younger than me. I got custody of her at 17 unofficially and suddenly had a 12 year old to care for. This was after growing up and spending several years in foster care. Throughout this entire time I never had much support so when I turned 18 I basically needed to figure it all out myself. I worked 12 hr days to support us 7 days a week when I was younger.I really feel like the last 10 years of my life have been me trying to claw my way out of survival mode and have some semblance of control over the fires in my life. I am extremely scared of losing that control again by having a kid and backsliding.My current home life is much more stable than it has ever been. But I'm having a hard time overcoming the anxiety of becoming a parent. I want nothing more right now. I just fear failing as a parent.Any advice anyone can give me here? I've seen all the bad sides of parents failing their children. I've had to become an adult at a very young age. But I'm tired of "waiting for the right time".. It feels like that just keeps getting pushed down the road.I know it'll be the hardest thing to do in my life. But I literally want nothing more. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/3yYq6Z4