Co parenting difficulties

Hey folks, I'm in need of some perspectives here.I'm not even sure on where to begin but basically, I'm getting beyond frustrated at my ex partners attitude towards work. It seems to be his absolute top priority, to the point where its effecting my life and plans, and I'm concerned how our 3 year old is going to be percieving/feeling about it growing up. I never want him to see what I do, that work will always come first, and we're all expected to cater to it. I dont want my son believing work is life's sole purpose either.He's told me in the past that he only had 3 days off in a month, and then goes on to tell me that he's actually being underpaid currently too. He hasn't brought this up to his boss because "She's going through a hard time" .....for the last 3 years. (That's life though huh?)This has also meant that apparently he can't afford fuel to drop our son somewhere convenient for me, despite the fact its never been a problem before. He also refuses to even entertain looking at another job because 'he can't get paid that much anywhere else'. However I will mention that he is atrocious with his finances (literally drove me into debt for the first time ever previously.) So I'm reckoning it's not so much pay as it is lack of financial skills.If they spring a surprise shift/extra hours etc, he always agrees without hesitation or complaint. Im talking about a 12+ hour shift with less than 24 hours notice even when he has his kid. He also likes to leave at least an hour early for work(?!). This means that not only on his days is his mum looking after our son (even when I think its his dad) but he often messages me last minute (the morning of or the night before) to change drop off times.If I kick up a fuss and say I need more notice or I'm not there at that time, he tells me I'm not being fair when I kick off about it, especially as he 'does so much for me'. I dont understand why he only tells me these things last minute, or just expects me to work my life and plans around his job. This especially comes up at the end of a week where my partner is visiting/we're away together. What's even worse is his willing lack of communication, so even when they let him know he doesn't tell me straight away.This is not the way he sees it. I honestly don't think he understands that work is a choice, and that he has a choice in his work. He was in the forces before we met and I've mentioned he has a soldier mentality towards work that's no longer being a soldier. He agreed, yet doesnt remotely change.If his job was something like a police officer, or paramedic etc I would understand. But it's literally a standard job, in a tiny place that's not remotely fundamental, and hes the only member of staff with a kid, yet spends the most amount of time there. He'll go down to wait for stock to arrive apparently for hours, yet doesn't clock these hours in or even ask someone else who is free and has the time/lives closer to do it.Can someone please help me understand this insane mentality towards a (supposedly temporary) job? Would any of you happily work 50, 60+ hour weeks, underpaid whilst simultaneously saying you want to spend more time with your kid?I would never dream of making him work around my boss' last minute shift changes, especially without my prior knowledge or consent. I would tell them no sorry, I have my son, I need more notice. Am I in the minority? Should work be his/our priorities?Tldr; ex partner is happy being overworked and underpaid, and expects me to work around his job, but wishes he could spend more time with his kid. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/3jTRH7P