My 6 year old is a really gentile kid, he's kind of a "goody two shoes" and is always worried about making others feel happy. His two besties who happen to be our neighbors and our landlords kids 5 and 8 (we love the family, we get along really well other than these recent events)Recently the neighbor kids haven't been very nice to him and I've been encouraging him to stand up for himself (if he doesn't want to play something because it makes him uncomfortable or If he isn't comfortable letting his friend play with specific toys, or play too rough with his toys he can tell them he doesn't want to/no)the younger one (5) threatened to punch him and shoot him with a rubber band gun. Both times my son ran home crying and scared, but felt like he should go say sorry because he was worried the kid wouldn't be his friend any more. I explained that he doesn't deserve to be threatened by his friend and he should tell him that he doesn't like it when he talks like that to him. I think the threats from this one are more this neighbor kid testing how far he can push my kid before he sets a boundary, he never has hurt him and always comes back to play after like nothing happened, he is younger (just turned 5) and I don't think he understands how his words effect others.The older one is getting concerning.It started with my kids toys, usually brand new ones he gets getting "accidentally broken" by the older one (things that don't accidentally happen like poking holes in my kids tent with sticks, snapping toys in half and blaming the dog that sort of thing) I told my son that if he doesn't want to risk specific toys getting broken he can just keep them in his room and choose not to share them.Then came the roughhousing.Neighbors older kid isn't rough with his siblings, but he's very rough with my kid, when playing I'll catch him throwing a punch to the chest "jokingly" or pushing my kid over pretty hard playing it of as a game. Whenever I see it I ask if my kid is ok and my kid always says he's ok and that it's a game.Today my kid got a punch to the gut right about time to come inside for the night and he told me about it, he explained that the kid calls him a baby whenever he cries when he hurts him and that he won't stop.I found out he doesn't tell anyone about it when it happens and he doesn't tell him to stop because he doesn't want his friend to feel bad. "I don't want to make him feel left out if I tell him I don't want to play when he's mean"I told him that he needs to tell his friend "don't hurt me I don't like it" whenever ANYTHING like that happens and if his friend doesn't stop then he needs to come home, I told him he's not a baby and it's understandable to cry when someone hurts him.Idk what else to tell him to help give him the tools to learn to stand up for himself, I feel like it's really important for him to find his voice and not be scared of how he will make others feel when he is uncomfortable and voices it. He's eventually going to have to go to school and he's going to have to learn to set boundaries.We do have a reward chart that I added "stand up for yourself" row in which seems to help him a bit.Neighbors mom is really supportive and doesn't let her kids play rough when she sees stuff happening, same with me but it seems like most of what's happening happens when we aren't In eyeshot.I suspect the older kid is acting out because of jealousy, my kid is really responsible for his age and I let him do lots of things most kids his age don't normally do and he often gets rewarded for how well he behaves, this is not an excuse for the the 8 year olds behavior though. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/37ONLjd
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