Before I get going...Baby is 7weeks. I live with my husband, my brother, and my parents. Two family members stay with us at the end of eachmonth, they are truckdriver&girlfriend. Covid caused a housing crisis where we live, we're making it work. We are constantly getting shit feedback about everything we do. Expected to bend to others wishes despite safety concerns. People bash us for how were managing to get rest and keep baby, hubby, and I happy, rested, and healthy.📌 Issue #1. Unwanted Sleep Related Advice/Opinions. Putting the baby in a bassinet gives me anxiety because he has been able to roll over since the day he was born. I'm terrified he will suffocate in his bassinet if he rolls onto his stomach. He also will not sleep longer than 30min intervals in the bassinet. If I wake and can't feel the baby because he's in the bassinet or with his dad, I bolt right out of bed and frantically search the house for him until I realize/find where he is. I am exclusively breastfeeding. Fully waking repeatedly makes me cranky af.My solution: baby sleeps on my side of the bed, between me and a bed rail/bumper, blanket gets tucked under his hips/lower torso so it doesn't end up coming up and covering his face. Makes breastfeeding him a breeze. Haven't slept better than since we started sleeping like this.My family: "You're going to end up with him in your bed until he is in elementary school." "You're setting yourself up for years without privacy." "You're going to end up regretting co-sleeping." "You need to stop." "You need to make him sleep in his bassinet." Blah Blah Blah.📌 Issue #2. Unwanted Advocating for Cry It Out. Hearing Baby scream or cry makes me feel like absolute shit and a horrible mother. Some nights he is simply inconsolable and I cannot stand listening to the cries worsen if I put him down. He hates actual pacifiers. He likes to fall asleep using me as a pacifier. If I have tried trouble shooting and can't figure out why he's crying, and just do nothing, I firmly believe I am failing and have an anxious meltdown.Solution: I believe the baby needs the comfort I can offer, so sometimes letting him use me as a pacifier feels like the only way to get any rest without triggering my own depressive episode.Family: "You're coddling him" "You're making him too dependent." "You're teaching him bad habits" "You're running to him too quickly." "You need to stop picking him up." "You need to let him cry." "You're spoiling him."📌 Issue #3 Extended Family(not in house) Disregarding Wishes For Visiting. People have been demanding visitation when my nephew and brother just recovered from covid symptoms, after my great grandma died to covid. Nephew and brother did not test positive but we didn't want to increase risks with visitors. We told people we wanted time to adjust, settle in, and get into a routine before toting the baby around to pick people up from airports, or going out all the time, increasing risk of sickness in flu season. People are mad we don't want visitors until baby begins building an immune system.Solution: We explained politely to family that my Doctor and I have a Vaccine plan for my covid vaccine for when baby is 3m old, and we will take a vacation to visit family after I am vaccinated.Family: "I don't want to wait that long." "I want to hold the baby, I'll visit if I damn well feel like it." "Well I'm not getting a vaccine to hold the baby." "You're sheltering him too much." "You must not want us to see the baby."📌 Issue #4. Ill Wishers Expectations. Two Family members are demanding to hold my child when they work Over-the-road and God only knows what they've come in contact with. When I was still pregnant, one of them wished for the loss of the baby and attempted to start drama about how my husband is too good for me. They both say "they've been in a truck for months" and my argument back is "you've been going to truck stops, where God only knows what you've come in contact with, for months". Both of them expect me to leave the baby in their care. Over my dead body. I cannot trust them to not harm the baby due to what one of them said and the other keeps making excuses as to why it "needs to be forgiven and forgotten". If I leave the baby with the innocent one in that relationship, they will let the other touch or hold the baby.Solution: I make an excuse about germs and "new parent anxiety." I don't let them watch or touch the baby. Baby is not left in the same room as them. We informed the rest of the family that those two people aren't to be allowed to touch or hold the baby.Family: "You're tearing this family apart." "You're going to cause issues with your son knowing his (insert relationship title here)." "It isn't (innocent partner's) fault" (even though they excused ill wishes on my baby).I'm really struggling with not just telling off most of my family at this point. Everyone feels the need to make us feel like shit.HOU DO I FIRMLY SET BOUNDARIES FOR THESE SITUATIONS? EVERYTHING SEEMS LIKE IT WILL START A FIGHT. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/3w09QGQ
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