Having a hard time with my 6 year old son

I feel like im at the end of my sanity with my 6 year old son. Ive gotten him every kind of help he could get. Hes in speech, PT and OT in and out of school, diagnosed severe ADHD and possible sensory issues, sees a dermatologist for skin issues, i pay out of pocket for his swallow/food sensory therapy, ive tried 4 different autism doctors (one that i had to travel to out of state) and they all agreed that they dont believe he has some sort of autism and that its just severe adhd and with medication, therapy and time, he will learn to manage. I just feel so burnt out. All these therapists every single day, im almost maxed out of my credit cards for having to personally pay for certain therapy’s that insurance wont cover.Im trying so hard to be this gentle parent with him but its hard sometimes. Tonight i had him in the shower and his baby brother in the baby bath on the sink, im trying to teach my son a little self care and ive been working with him and teaching him to wash himself and his hair. I was giving his brother a bath at the same time, well he turns the water off for whatever reason and turns it back on and he turns the water on cold, hes crying, i cant just leave my infant in the bath alone so i tell him to just turn the water off and ill be there in a minute to fix it and my 6 year old just stands there, still crying in the cold water not listening to a word im saying. Like full on hysterical. I grab my youngest straight out of his tub and head to the shower, turn it off thinking that would stop the crying, but nope he started a full on melt down. and i just couldn’t take the crying anymore, his baby brother started screaming, and i yelled at him. I feel so bad but i yelled at him and told him to get out of the shower, get dressed and just go straight to bed. I lost it.After i got his baby brother all fixed up i went and had a talk with my 6 year old who was reading in bed, I apologized for yelling and asked him why he turned the shower off in the first place. Just like always when he does other things to this intense degree its “i dont know”. Its always i dont know. After he said this he had another full on inconsolable hysteric fit. I tried calming him down but it got to me enough where i told him I understand hes upset but i need to walk out of him room and he just needs to relax and go to bed. Its getting to the point where im not sure how much more i can take, im so burnt out putting all this money into these extra therapy programs to help him when i dont even know if any of it is even helping. I dont really see progress.i feel like it would be better if we aren’t constantly running from school to home, 30 min drive to therapy, 30 min drive back, dinner then bed. Almost every single day. What else can i do? If anyone has any advice im all ears. I hate this feeling. I hate feeling like im a bad mom. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/3oprvpi