Bedtime makes me hate being a parent and I don’t know how to get better

I’m so exhausted. I have 4 kids 2mo, 2.5years,6,8. By the end of the day I’m done. Exhausted. I cannot anymore. I gave them my best and by 8:00 I have no more to give. I want to be that gentle parent that puts my 2 year old back in bed 100 times tucks them in reads another story kisses them on the head and leaves blissfully humming to myself. I want to gently remind my daughter she has already had 3 cups of water and doesn’t need another one, that it is time for bed. But I can’t. After like the 2nd time I’m Raging and I don’t want to. I’m scared I’m going to scar them by my yelling but I can’t seem to stop. On the other side of my problem, everyone says “your kids behave how you allow them to behave” so it’s completely my fault both ways and I don’t have a clue how to fix it. Please anyone who overcame this I need help via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/3io9zXR